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There’s nothing scarier than finishing an intense session only to look down and realize that something was left behind by your partner. Where did the condom go? Unfortunately what that means is that the condom is still having a bit of fun although you and your partner are done. Even worse: It now has a few (hundred million) friends to join the party.
But just because the condom breaks or doesn’t make it to your next bedroom bash doesn’t mean all hope it lost. Here are 7 things you should do instead of panicking.
1. See the doctor.
Maybe you’ve discovered the condom broke and you’re too freaked out to figure out where it went. First, rest assured that it’s impossible for it to be floating around between your spleen and your liver. If you don’t feel comfortable enough to “explore,” see a doctor who can go where your hand may not dare to—otherwise you could risk an infection.
2. Double up if you’ve skipped pills.
Here’s what to do if you realize you missed a pill (or two, or three…). Depending how long it’s been, you may want to use a backup method.
3. Opt for Plan B.
Emergency contraception (a.k.a. Plan B) is now available without a prescription and can work up to five days after unprotected sex—though the sooner you take it, the more effective it is.
4. Cope with copper.
ParaGard is a copper IUD that can be inserted by a doctor up to five days after unprotected sex to prevent pregnancy after the fact. It increases cervical mucus and repels sperm.
5. Get tested.
If you’re sexually active you should be getting tested for sexually transmitted infections (STIs) every six months. It’s especially important when having multiple partners so that if you get an STI, you can narrow down who may have infected you or been infected by you. Keep in mind that you can’t get accurate results for some STIs until at least six months after unprotected sex, so get tested regularly.
6. Think about what went wrong.
Was the condom expired? Did you put it on backwards? Not enough lubrication? All of these are common culprits that contribute to condom failure. Think about how you can better prepare so you can avoid future scary situations.
7. Plan for next time.
If you need a better birth control, Bedsider can help break down your options. Emergency contraception can even be bought beforehand to be kept on stand-by for emergency situations.
Toya Sharee is a community health educator and parenting educator who has a passion for helping young women build their self-esteem and make well-informed choices about their sexual health. She is regularly featured on MadameNoire.com and blogs about everything from beauty to breakfast cereal to love and relationships. Follow her on Twitter @TheTrueTSharee or visit her blog, Bullets and Blessings.
Hi! I have a long shot question and I hope someone can help... my parents are undocumented my mom REALLY needs dental care. most of her teeth are rotting and she has not had proper dental care ever in her life :( She lives in Miami, FL. all of our money is going into trying to get their papers (I'm a citizen, 22 y/o) and helping my sister finish college. Do you have any resources/links/advice to help? Also, I'm sending this message to several users because I'm a little desperate...
i don’t have any resources or links but hopefully some of my followers can help!
Anon may find some resources in the Health Care section of Resources for Decision-Making and Low-Income Parenting!
This can depend on how you feel, how recent or far away your experience is, but there is NEVER too much self care, and it can never be at the wrong time :)
Get your nails done
Buy your favorite dessert
Watch 10 episodes of your favorite show
Stay in bed
Go for a run
Call your best friend
Take a bath (two weeks after your abortion)
Have a beer (also must wait about a week or two)
Go on a mini vacation
Listen to all your favorite bands
Listen to some sad songs
Go to a yoga class
Ask someone to come be with you as you cry, have a lazy day, mope etc.
Punch your pillow
Have a cigarette, or a pack
Buy yourself a nice card and put it somewhere you will see it every day
Let yourself feel how you’re feeling
Call Exhale (888) 474-8149
This was sent to the Abortion Assistance Blog, which is currently on hiatus:
If I’m 17 and I know my parents nor my boyfriend will approve it and we neither have jobs and will most likely be kicked out how easy would it be to get a judicial bypass?
Hi anon! Getting judicial bypass depends on the state in which you live. Not all states require parental consent or notification, so first, find out if yours is one.
My post, Judicial Bypass for Minors, has all the information I could gather about the process in each state. You’ll usually have the option of contacting your clinic/Planned Parenthood, the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), or the National Abortion Federation (NAF) for more information. If you’re lucky, your state will have an organization dedicated to helping with the process.
Some states have instructions and forms online, but others require you to call the local courthouse, which can take quite a long time. Many local court staff are ignorant of or hostile to the judicial bypass process, so you may get shuffled around or misinformed. I hope that my post would somewhat prepare you to deal with this, if it happens. If your state doesn’t have instructions online, take some time to read about other state processes - they’re usually not that different. That first link above will also tell you more about the criteria in your state.
Please let me know if there are any other questions I can answer, anon.
go onto www.letserasethestigma.com to enter a crisis LiveChat .. you can do it from your phone!
Or text our hotline at (516) 459-8721.
It is always exciting to discover and add a new program or organization to the resource page on my website!
Today I found the website for Insights Teen Parent Program, a non-profit offering free services in Southeast Portland (Oregon). The website opens with an inspiring and affirming quote, “Because we know teen parents can be great parents”.
Insights offers a variety of in-home and community services, including:
- Parent education and support for young mothers and fathers
- Child developmental screenings
- Networking and peer support
- School advocacy
- Transitional housing and short term rental assistance
- Emergency assistance for food, diapers, clothing and personal supplies
- Domestic violence safety planning and harm reduction services
- Healthy relationship and sexuality education
- Family planning and birth control support and education
- Resource and referral
- Child welfare advocacy services
I’m on a pregnancy scare rn. My period is not due yet but I’m already stressing myself & my boyfriend out. What if it doesn’t come? I know abortion is our only answer since I’m only 16, but I really don’t want it to go that far. It was a stupid decision, but I stopped him before he released….but there’s still a risk, and I’m just so scared. /:
Hey, anon! That sounds like a stressful situation, and I’m sorry you’re going through it right now. I’ve answered a couple of similar questions like this that you may find helpful. One person wasn’t sure what they wanted to do if they were pregnant, and the other had questions about getting an abortion as a minor.
The important thing to do right now is to take a pregnancy test. If you’re not late yet, the test may not be accurate, so it’s best to wait until the day of your missed period or a little later. Once you get the results, you can decide what comes next. If you are pregnant, you can talk with your boyfriend if you want to, or find someone else, like a parent, friend, teacher, clergy member, or whoever you feel comfortable sharing this with. There is also a hotline, called Backline, that helps people with pregnancy and parenting decisions. Abortion doesn’t have to be your only option - if you are interested in parenting or adoption, I have a list of resources for decision-making and low-income parenting.
It might be worth looking into a form of birth control that works for you. You have lots of options! I’m a big fan of Bedsider, which helps you find a method that’s best for you, as well as ways to pay for it and where to find it.
If possible, I’d also recommend keeping a dose of Plan B One Step in your medicine cabinet, in case of emergency. It will prevent pregnancy when taken within 3 days of unprotected sex, and there’s even a $10 off coupon if you buy it at a pharmacy!
Please take good care of yourself, anon, and let me know if you have any more questions!
She called Planned Parenthood and they told her since she’s under 18 she needs her parents consent. She also called an abortion assistance place, and they said the same thing to her. She is so terrified to talk to her parents. I’ve tried to talk to her about how hard it is to have a baby and what a huge responsibility it is, but she’s honestly too out of it to listen. This baby does not need to be born to a mother who’s priorities are smoking and drinking. I told her I will help her raise the money if possible, but she has to promise to talk to her parents and get their consent. I don’t want her making the wrong choice. She’s too young. She’s still a kid herself. If you or anyone you know are willing to help her get the money for this, please click the donate button on my blog. I hate this stuff. I always look down on people who ask for money, but this isn’t for me. This is for a young girl who I’ve known since she was just a little kid. I’m okay with putting my pride aside for her. Right now she is almost 12 weeks pregnant, and they told her if she gets an abortion now, the cost will be $620. If this works, I’ll convince her to let me take a picture of her receipt and blur out her face so you guys know this isn’t a scam. Thank you to anyone who helps.
Please spread this around! Tumblr has helped so many people in the past, I know we can do it again.
I need there to be pro choice (or pro voice) post-abortion counselling services available.
Not even for myself anymore - after 5 years, I think I have finally found the peace I was looking for.
But it was hell to go through it without help.
I love that Exhale exists, but it is based in California or something.
There need to be more.
I am fairly certain the local pregnancy/abortion councellers around Vancouver I’ve looked into are pretty clearly pro life - They say non-judgmental, but I personally would not feel comfortable sharing my experience with someone who was trying to force forgiveness on me.
Being told I would be forgiven tells me they think I made the wrong choice.
Forgiveness is not what I wanted. I wanted closure.
A pro choice or pro voice clinic should provide a woman* with what she needs to heal. Forgiveness if they are looking for it, but only then.
If it doesn’t exist now, I want to create it.
There are three other pro-choice hotlines I know of, and at least one takes international calls as well as those from the US and Canada. You can check out the list of hotlines at the Abortion Assistance Blog’s “Need Someone To Talk To?”
Crystal (email@example.com) lives in eastern Oregon, and the closest clinic is a few hours away. She hasn’t yet mentioned which clinic or when she is planning on going. Can anyone help Crystal? Please spread the word!
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