Bake-at-Home Babies: Embryo Adoption and Me →

Embryo adoption is a Real Thing That Exists. We found this out in the fertility specialist’s office right after he confirmed what we’d been pretending we didn’t know for a few years: my husband and I are unable to make babies by ourselves. But, we wanted to experience the wonder and joy of pregnancy and birth (later, “wonder” and “joy” will be represented by “aches” and “vomiting”). We weren’t necessarily closed to the possibility of traditional adoption, but we wanted to exhaust every option we had to go through the full experience of bringing a child into the world.

Tumblr, in all its glorious wisdom, won’t let me reblog myself, but please reblog my post, Resources for Decision-Making and Low-Income Parenting! The more people who know about it, the better!

Let's get real about abortions →

stfuhypocrisy:

“Rather than tell us what you’d like to ban, tell us please what you think government should do to support more happy and healthy childbearing, to reduce unwanted pregnancies and to alleviate the economic anxieties of mothers-to-be?”

(Source: stfueverything)

Sew Up the Safety Net. Detroit Assistance for Infants and Mothers →

posttragicmulatto:

Please signal boost this program Women and Children in Detroit.

Sew Up the Safety Net for Women and Children is a FREE program available for women aged 18-34 living in Detroit.

-What we do-

Connect women to health care and other support services and provide FREE:

• Mentors and access to counseling support
• Baby health and care information
• Free text messages on health and pregnancy
• In-home support
• Life skills and stress management tools

To help you take care of yourself and your family.

Sew Up the Safety Net for Women and Children is a joint project of 4 local health systems – Detroit Medical Center, Henry Ford Health, St. John Providence Health, and Oakwood Healthcare System- working with many public health, academic and community organizations in Detroit.

For more information about the project, our community and funding partners please visit http://www.henryford.com/susn

Added to the list of decision-making and parenting resources!

(via rabbleprochoice)

[TW: Rape] New Mexico Gov. Requires Women Seeking Childcare Assistance To Prove They Were ‘Forcibly Raped’ →

brashblacknonbeliever:

After Rep. Todd Akin (R-MO) asserted his belief that “legitimate rape” doesn’t often lead to pregnancy, Republican lawmakers were quick to attempt to configure his radical stance on women’s health as an outlier in their party. However, increasing numbers of GOP politicians’ language about the nature of sexual assault actually echoes Akin’s — including New Mexico Gov. Susana Martinez (R), whose state’s policies use language that effectively narrows the definition of rape.

Not only did Martinez refer to “forcible rape” in an announcement instating April as New Mexico’s Sexual Assault Awareness Month — as if some kinds of sexual assault need to be qualified as more or less “legitimate” than others — but, as RH Reality Check reports, the term also appears in the state’s proposed changes to its official applications for childcare assistance. If the proposed changes take effect, women in New Mexico will be required to prove that their sexual assault qualified as “forcible rape” if they are seeking childcare assistance for a child that resulted from rape:

If adopted, this policy will have numerous implications. It establishes in state law a narrow definition of rape that can and will be applied in other areas of law and policy. It puts a heavy burden on women who have been raped and are now struggling economically to support a child or children to prove the manner in which they were raped and to meet a test set up by the state to exclude many women in need of childcare assistance who would otherwise qualify.

It would force women who have left violent domestic partnerships, who were date-raped, who were impregnated as a result of incest, or through other “non-forcible” but nonetheless equally violent and denigrating means of sexual violation to first re-engage with their abusers to seek child support, putting control of their lives back into the hands of someone by whom they were violated in the most profound sense of the term.

I don’t understand how women go through with abortions.

god-is-prochoice:

hannahbrotanna:

I’m watching my son sleep right now and he is just so beautiful.

They really are missing out.

Yea, because NO pro-choicer EVER on the planet likes kids or wants kids or wants to be pregnant or wants to choose when to be pregnant or has kids already. TOTALLY.

Oh, and… a few things you might want to consider? Not every uterus-owner can physically or mentally endure pregnancy. Not every uterus-owner wants to have kids. Not every uterus-owner can afford to have more children. Not every uterus-owner wants to continue a pregnancy that was caused by rape.

Logic. How does it work!?

61% of people who get abortions already have at least one child, and 34% have at least two. They know what it’s like to be a parent, and they know how to make responsible choices for their family.

"

When I look back on those frightening moments in the hospital room and being too afraid of the nurse’s judgment to push the call button, I wonder about how many young moms and dads hesitate to reach out for help and support when they need it?

Now that I am well into my 30s and have seen my friends have babies at every age, I know that all new moms struggle with uncertainty. Most of us have both a powerful love for our new babies and a nagging fear that we won’t know how to be good mothers. The women who thrive in motherhood are usually those with trusted networks of support and the humility to ask for help when needed.

When I see the dismal statistics and negative images our communities are bombarded with, I wonder how many of the negative outcomes are caused not by the age of the parents, but by the stigma heaped on them and the isolation that results? We all know there is nothing inherently wrong with giving birth at 18. Humans have been doing it throughout time; President Barack Obama’s mom did it, every 30-year-old I know has a mother who was “young” by today’s standards.

In a generation, the “proper” age to become a parent has changed. Economic security sure helps in raising kids. Having a partner does too. But 40 percent of babies in the US are born to mothers who are not married, and their ages range across the board. The Great Recession has taught us many things, including that we can’t count on financial security at any age.

Maybe instead of a National Day to Prevent Teen Pregnancy, with statistics and images that demonize young parents, we could have a National Day to Support Young Parents? We could have a day when service providers, teachers, ministers, and the media celebrate all of the great achievements by young parents and their kids. We could enjoy a day when we are honored for all we have taken on, and all that we have succeeded in doing, when the folks around us ask us how they can best support us, instead of telling us what we should have done differently.

"

Adriann Barboa, “What To Expect When You’re (Young And) Expecting,” Strong Families 8/21/12 (via racialicious)

LOVE this so much, bolded last paragraph for emphasis.

(via mylifeasafeminista)

Resources for Decision-Making and Low-Income Parenting

Health Care:

• 211.org can connect you to help with food, housing, employment, health care, counseling and more
• Scarleteen’s Find-A-Doc lets you search for doctors, counselors, shelters/centers, doulas, and other sexual/reproductive health services. You can also add or read reviews.
• Look over your insurance options at Healthcare.gov
• Your state’s Medicaid program
• The Affordable Care Act expands insurance and health care options for pregnant people and children, including the Children’s Health Insurance Program (CHIP). You can find local health care centers, services, and information on their page.
• Many Planned Parenthood locations provide general health care at little to no cost, depending on your income
• Nurse-Family Partnership offers free at-home (or another safe place) pregnancy and childcare assistance until your child turns two.
• NeedyMeds is a directory of programs that offer assistance to people who can’t afford their medications or health care.
• Free Dental Care can help you find low-cost or free clinics
• Look for dental and dental hygiene schools if you are comfortable with closely-supervised students
• Your state’s United Way program may sponsor or help you connect with low-cost or free dental care
• You can straight up ask for a discount at your doctor’s office. The Billfold’s How to Get Health Care While Uninsured has more on the topic.

• Women, Infants and Children (WIC) for food and health care services
• Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP)
• Commodity Supplemental Food Program (CSFP)
• If you’re a Native American living on or near a reservation, apply for Food Distribution on Indian Reservations (FDPIR)
• Find your local food bank

• Backline can connect you to parenting resources
• Your state’s Department of Human Services may have a program to provide low-income, working parents with access to quality, affordable child care
• The US Department of Health and Human Services sponsors the Child Care and Development Fund (CCDF) to both states and Native tribes
• eHow has a step-by-step guide to finding child care assistance through Child Care Aware
• Detroit’s Sew Up the Safety Net for Women and Children is a free program connecting women ages 18-34 to parenting support, counseling, baby health and care information, and other services and education
• You may be able to find parenting and home ec. classes, baby materials, social support, child care, and other resources through your place of worship
• Many diaper and formula companies offer free samples and opportunities to win packages or cash

Unplanned Pregnancy & Choices

klondikebar123:

So here you are. You peed on that stick and got a positive. You didn’t think it would happen to you. Here’s what you need to do next;

• Go see your doctor. No matter what your decision about your pregnancy, you need to ensure that you are actually pregnant. If you don’t have a regular gyno, or are afraid to go see your regular doctor, visit a Planned Parenthood near you (they offer pregnancy tests for about $16)
• Try and relax.
• Think about the goals you have in life, and if a pregnancy and/or parenting fit into those goals. Do you like kids? Can you carry a pregnancy? 
• Think about the people in your life and how a pregnancy will impact their lives (including the person you had sex with.)

You have three choices here. You can parent, adopt out, or terminate. This decision is up to you, and may or may not have a huge impact on the rest of your life. Make the decision that is best for you and your loved ones.

Parenting

Parenting involves carrying the pregnancy to term and raising the resulting child. You may do this on your own, with the father* of your child, with another significant other, or with other family members. If you chose parenting, you should get a regular OBGYN as soon as possible so you can begin prenatal care. Parenting can be stressful, but does have it’s joys. It should not be a punishment, and it should not be forced. Parenting is a journey that lasts the rest of your life.

Valuable Resources:

WIC (Women, Infants, & Children) provides federal grants to states for supplemental food, health care referrals, and nutrition education to low-income, pregnant, and postpartum women, and to children under five.

National Parent Helpline 1.855.4.A.PARENT (1.855.427.2736) provides parents with emotional support. 

National School Lunch Program is a government funded effort to feed the children of the United States in schools. Low-income families can apply for a free or reduced lunch. In some areas, this may be the only food available to a child.

In addition, please check out your states individual programs!

Adoption

So you don’t want to be a parent, but you don’t want to terminate the pregnancy. Adoption may be the best choice for you. Adoption involves carrying out the pregnancy and signing over your parental rights. There are closed adoptions and open adoptions. Open adoptions allow the birth parents some updates on how the child is doing, and may even include visitations (on the discretion of the adoptive parents.) If you choose adoption, please go see an OBGYN as soon as possible so you can begin prenatal care. 

Valuable Resources:

State Adoption Welfare Managers Contact Information provides state by state links.

For expectant parents considering adoption and birth parents

Adoption lawyers

Please be sure to check our resources near you!

Abortion

1 in 3 women have had an abortion. If you choose to terminate your pregnancy, you are not alone. The vast majority of abortions occur before 12 weeks of pregnancy. Your regular OBGYN may preform abortions, or you may wish to seek out a Planned Parenthood. Depending on how far gestation is determines the kind of abortion you will get. Laws and restrictions vary by state. Legal abortion is a very safe procedure.

Valuable Resources:

Fund Abortion Now provides financial aid to those who cannot afford abortions.

Planned Parenthood describes the different kinds of abortion.

The Guttmacher Institute provides fact sheets about each state’s abortion laws.

Yaaaay, klondikebar123! Everyone please reblog this so others can have these awesome options to refer to!

ipomoeandthestarstealers submitted:

This should be longer!  I was scared, it was unexpected and unwanted, but the PP in Olympia, WA was wonderful and compassionate when I came to them and had my pregnancy confirmed.  They first discussed options: carrying to term and adopting, carrying to term and actively parenting, or aborting.  They explained the assorted resources available to me based on my age/income bracket/etc in the area, and asked what kind of emotional/financial support I had from my parents (who did NOT know I was pregnant three weeks into my freshman year of college).  I explained that I wanted an abortion, and they discussed the financial situation with me, that I had to provide payment for it, whether with state vouchers for low-income medical care or out-of-pocket or insurance.  I had health insurance but was afraid to use it because my parents would find out.  I tried to get state assistance but was unable to do so due to my insurance and my parents’ income.  I didn’t know what I was going to do and I was unable to come up with the finances needed to abort.  Luckily (?) for me, I ended up miscarrying at approximately 11 weeks, which was far along enough that I needed to go to the ER and have a D&C at the local Catholic hospital (where the staff was, once again, compassionate and kind).  Eventually, the bill for the ER visit ended up at my parents’ house and the whole story came out, and they were sympathetic and my mom told me about how she’d had two abortions before deciding to have me.

I continued to use Planned Parenthood as my go-to for reproductive health resources even when I didn’t have insurance (thanks, Take Charge program!).  When I did have insurance, I still went, because the staff was so amazing.  When my husband and I decided to get pregnant, the nurse-practitioner at PP taught me how to track my cycle and my fertile days.  With what she taught me, I was able to get pregnant within two weeks of “trying”.  I now have a gorgeous and rowdy 14-month-old son, and I am still using the resources provided by Planned Parenthood staff to track my cycle and plan my next pregnancy.

——

What an amazing story! Thank you so much for sharing!

(Take Charge is Washington’s Medicaid family planning program. I didn’t know there were different names, so I’m sure someone else out there didn’t, either.)

Help for low-income parents?

I know of a lot of resources to help people access safe, legal abortion, but I’d like to find more for low-income parents or soon-to-be parents. One of the most commonly listed reasons for getting an abortion is financial strain. Someone who truly wants to be a parent deserves all the help they need. If anyone has any information on the following, whether it’s national, state, or local, and especially if it’s trans* friendly, please reblog or message me!

Financial assistance/providers for:

• Prenatal and postnatal care (including ultrasounds)
• Birth and alternative birthing options (homebirth, birthing centers, midwives, doulas, etc.)
• Infant care
• Baby items
• Child care for working/student parents
• Food
• Rent/utilities

Other:

• Parenting advice and support groups
• Home ec. and other practical classes (online or not)
• Resources for people in domestic violence situations
• Counseling and support for victims of abuse (pregnancy and birth can be triggers)
• Crisis pregnancy centers/pregnancy resource centers that provide nonjudgmental, no-strings-attached services
• Any other needs I’ve forgotten

U.S. Conference of Mayors Passes Pro-Choice Resolution →

The resolution ”affirms the importance of women’s reproductive rights” and “urges Congress and the states to pursue a positive agenda that reaffirms fundamental rights and improves women’s access to safe and comprehensive reproductive-health care.”

Other resolutions support healthy eating, local farms and purchasing, and increased access to healthy food, especially in inner cities, increased funding for CDBG grants to provide quality, affordable housing, the reauthorization of VAWA including support for undocumented victims, eliminating the backlog of untested rape kits, reducing sex trafficking of minors, and empowering parents to ensure their child gets a good education and transform failing schools.

The U.S. Conference of Mayors sends representatives from cities with populations of 30,000 or more. They use their collective voice to influence national policy by distributing resolutions to the President and Congress.

Perhaps someday they’ll recognize that the health care issues they speak about affect everyone with the ability to get pregnant, not just cis women.

Mississippi Learns The Hard Way That Abstinence-Only Sex Ed Enables Teen Pregnancy Epidemic →

Color me unsurprised. I do want to highlight this paragraph:

…as misguided as abstinence-only sex ed is, advocates who fight teen pregnancy say education is only one piece of the puzzle. An article published yesterday by the Associated Press quotes a representative from the Mississippi Women’s Fund who says that poverty and class mobility are also big parts of the problem. Young women need to know they will have educational and job opportunities awaiting them if they don’t become young mothers. 

There are plenty of stories (and studies) of people who don’t expect to go to college or get a high-paying job. [Young] parenthood is the end goal they’ve seen all their lives, and it’s not surprising when many of them don’t take precautions to prevent it. By giving kids and teens opportunities for affordable education, they begin to have more realistic choices about their futures.

Side note, from the AP article mentioned:

Some in the small town about 70 miles south of Memphis, Tenn., still think teen pregnancy should be addressed in the home, not the classroom. Harold Smith, a local evangelical pastor, said sex outside marriage is a sin and parents - not educators - should teach children to avoid it.

“You’ve got to spread the gospel,” Smith said. “If they get a hold of God just right, they won’t have (children).”

(Source: thesexpotblog, via fuckyeahsexeducation)

"

Innocence is remarking how sad it is that people have to know about things like child molesters and kidnappers and so now have to think about ways of protecting their children. Or how terrible it is that they have to be knowledgeable of rape culture and so have to be concerned for themselves when they walk to their car. Which is implicitly shaming survivors for daring to speak and breaking one small piece of their precious little innocence.

Or how horrible it is to tell your children that gay people exist, or trans* or maybe one day (heaven forbid!) that people who defy these neat categories also exist.

God forbid anyone who isn’t straight or cis or white or financially comfortable or non-abused not live in fear and shame and silence for the sake of your own comfort and innocence.

I’m not saying, “CHILDREN SHOULD BE TOLD EVERYTHING FROM BIRTH.” But I am saying that innocence, as a concept and as the way it is reinforced, comes at the expensive of trampling on those that aren’t innocent. It is as though by families shielding their eyes from the wounded bodies lying on the ground, they can walk all over them and claim good intentions and innocence as their excuse. And sometimes? In fact, far more than sometimes, it’s your own kids that you’re walking over.

"

The price of innocence, Somaticstrength (via somaticstrength)

fuck innocence

(via honeynbees)

(via fuckyeahsexeducation)

joegressivism:

amprog:

Often the most conservative states are the least family-friendly. The National Partnership for Women and Families made this map report card to show which states have the worst policies for families and new parents. So much for “traditional family values”!

(Source: nationalpartnership.org)

Conservatives simply just treat people like shit.

Good ol’ family values!

(via rabbleprochoice)