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I am 17 and I just found out I am pregnant.. I live with my boyfriend and I turn 18 in just a few days. I wasn’t expecting this, at all. I’m freaked out and I have no idea what to do. and as in just found out literally it was probably 20 minutes ago and I can’t stop crying. my boyfriend comes home from work in 5 hours and I’m scared to death. I don’t even know what to do. I need advice. I don’t know if I want to keep it, or not. I have an eating disorder. The most calories I’ve had in a day in the past five years has been 1,000 . And that is below what a non-pregnant person should eat whilst on a hard diet. I can’t eat more than 1,000 or I will honestly %100 puke everything up and be sick for the rest of the day. I’m scared this will kill me, and/or the baby so I don’t know what to do about it. I need some advice from both sides. What happens during an abortion? I’m no more than two months along. Should I go that route? Or should I keep the baby? Would that kill me? Any help/advice would be better than none. So anon or not please help me out. Thanks.
That sounds super overwhelming and scary! An unplanned pregnancy by itself can be really shocking, and trying to deal with an eating disorder at the same time sounds so stressful :(
I have lots of resources for you, though!
Resources for Decision-Making and Low-Income Parenting is the big one, and it’s exactly what it sounds like. Things to help you work and talk through your decision, people who can help you afford what you need, etc. There’s even a new online support group for pregnant women and moms with eating disorders called Lift the Shame, if you’re considering keeping the pregnancy.
Not getting enough nutrition can negatively affect your health, and it can affect the baby’s development if you decide to continue the pregnancy, so it’s really important to find some help managing your eating disorder. It may be hard, but if you do continue the pregnancy, you’ll need to be honest with your prenatal health doctor so they know how best to help you.
National Eating Disorders Association - Pregnancy and Eating Disorders
I have lots, lots more information and resources if you need them, so please don’t hesitate to send me a message or email me at firstname.lastname@example.org! Best, best wishes!
We actually do try to stick to our patient’s birth plan as much as possible. It’s their birth experience, we are just there to help them along the way, but there are certain things that our hospital policy won’t allow or situations arise that force us to alter their birth plan.
This is understandable, but there are some OBs and nurses who’ll never even look at a patients birth plan. That five page birth plan isn’t a plan, it’s a reassurance to the mother. She feels 100% better going into her birth knowing what will happen in almost all situations. Birth plans aren’t for doctors, they’re for mothers. They can be useful is a situation arises that the mother is not comfortable with, but other than that, they’re not meant to boss anyone around or really even what the mother expects to happen. They’re kind of like a pre-birth journal, a way to help a mother explore her preconceived notions about birth and to clear her head, ask questions she never though to ask, and make her confront the nastier side of birth she’d rather ignore like c-sections and such. Basically, the five page birth plans are a security blanket, not a guidebook. Doctors and nurses shouldn’t assume that the mother is a pain in the ass just because she has a big birth plan, she may have had previous birth trauma, past sexual abuse, a mental disorder like OCD. Basically, you don’t know why she wrote that plan so ignoring a mothers birth plan or brushing it off could cause her to go into a tail spin that ends up with her on the operating table for ‘failure to progress’. But anyways, I know not all doctors and nurses are callous about birth plans, but when there are doctors like these out there, can you really blame us? :(
Hi there, I had unprotected sex but my bf used the pull out method. My period is a week late, I took two pregnancy tests and they both came out negative. Even though it came out negative I am still worried. My bf says its stress but I am not sure. What should I do?
Hi, anon! The pregnancy tests depend on how long it’s been since you had unprotected sex. Pregnancy tests detect hCG, which starts being released once the fertilized egg implants in your uterine lining. It can take up to 24 hours for the sperm to reach the egg, and it takes another few days for a fertilized egg to travel into the uterus and implant.
The best/earliest time to take a pregnancy test is around or a little after when your period is due, which you did! And they were negative! So you are probably not pregnant. If you’re still worried, it’s never a bad idea to get a doctor’s opinion, either from your general practitioner or from a local women’s health center (just be sure you don’t wander into a fake one). One late period is probably nothing to worry about, but more than one may be a sign of something you and your doctor should know about.
One time, the month before I got my implant, my period was two weeks late. Two weeks. I wasn’t at risk of getting pregnant, wasn’t stressed, wasn’t sick, wasn’t on medications, no weight or exercise issues…nothin’. Sometimes, periods are just weird.
Part of being a responsible, safe-sex-having human being is making sure you and your partner are safe from STIs and unwanted pregnancy. There are lots of options for preventing pregnancy, so you can choose the perfect one(s) for you. My Nexplanon, or the birth control implant, is over 99% effective and is basically foolproof - I can pretty much forget about it for the next three years, and it’ll still do its job.
Bedsider and Planned Parenthood can help you figure out which method is best for you. The most effective methods are the implant and the IUD, but if you’re not into those, there’s also the pill, the patch, the ring, the shot, and condoms (which you should always wear unless you and your partner have both tested negative for STIs recently!). Effective birth control means less stress for you and your partner, and more time for the fun stuff.
Let me know if there are any other questions I can answer. Thank you for writing, and best wishes, anon!
I’m a trained doula, but not yet certified (although I’m in the process). I think this sometimes causes some confusion for people who aren’t familiar with the doula training and certification processes, so I’m going to lay it all out here. This information applies to birth doulas, but similar circumstances are true for postpartum doulas and other non-medical birth professionals, as well.
Doulas aren’t regulated by any government or organization, so it’s important to know what the different labels mean.
When I found out I was pregnant I was already 9 weeks along. After my abortion I swore I would never let a pregnancy sneak up on me again. My new contraceptive has stopped my periods so I got into the habit of taking a pregnancy test every two weeks just to be sure.
As you know, home pregnancy tests are expensive. I don`t have the time to go to the sexual health clinic every two weeks just for a pregnancy test so I had to find an alternative.
I discovered that you can buy 30 `dip stick` style pregnancy tests on eBay for 2.76 GBP (about $4.50 USD) I checked their accuracy with a health professional and they told me that these dip stick tests are the exact same brand and type that they use at clinics so they`re pretty damn reliable.
They come in discreet packaging too.
I urge you all to buy some. Stock up. If you or anyone you know needs a test, you`ll have one on hand. Hopefully this will save some of you in the USA from having to visit a PP surrounded by protesters or being lured into CPCs.
The eBay seller I got mine from is called `klackstar` but there are plenty of other options too and most ship internationally.
Please spread this around!!
OP, do you know what brand your health professional vetted? I’m finding a lot of reviews saying that Clinical Guard gives false positives, and that’s the most common result on eBay. But I also know people with bad experiences are more likely to post reviews than people with good experiences, so who knows?
Emergency contraception is also a super important thing to have on hand. It has a shelf life of up to three years, so if the way you get busy puts you at risk of pregnancy, save yourself some stress, buy it ahead of time, and keep it in a safe place. Generic brands are now available over the counter, and are just as effective and not as expensive. Plan B One-Step has a $10-off coupon if you go to a pharmacy or non-government-funded clinic!
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