Its been nearly two weeks since my abortion. I have not reached out to anyone or any organization before or after my procedure. a few people know that i had it done, but only those who need to know. i couldn’t be 100% alone with it. I do not regret my decision, but I still feel sad. I am happy that i am no longer pregnant, but i feel guilty for ending what could have been. i was only 6 weeks, so i tell myself it was just a sac. What should i do? Should i talk to someone or just move on?
No one can ever tell you to move on from something that’s obviously important to you. There can be a lot of complicated thoughts and emotions surrounding the decision to have an abortion, and I hope you can believe that they really are all normal. Sometimes there is no perfect choice that will make you completely happy - just the best one you could have made.
Pregnancy does mean potential, and so does abortion. You aren’t having a baby now, but you are going on to accomplish other things. Any time you make that tough choice to take one path over another, you’ll wonder about those what-ifs. And you can be relieved and guilty at the same time, for lots of different reasons.
I can’t tell you what to do, but I can show you some options. The Abortion Assistance Blog’s “Need Someone To Talk To?” page lists four post-abortion hotlines staffed by kind, nonjudgmental people who understand and validate the myriad of abortion experiences. They provide a listening ear and a sounding board.
If you’re not ready to talk to someone, on the phone or in person, I’d recommend journaling or some other creative output. There’s a lot you can tap into and sort through non-verbally (speaking as a future music therapist, here!), which can be especially valuable for complicated experiences like yours.
Self-care is important after an abortion, and for the rest of your life. There are lots of resources for self-care just a Google search away, but my favorite strategies are these:
- Watch funny shows and movies
- Write, draw, cut and paste, color in a coloring book
- Lie in bed and listen to music
- Exercise or take a walk
- Eat food that makes you feel good
- Cry when you need to
- Meditate or pray
- Be with friends
I hope this helped, anon. Please let me know if there’s anything else I can do. There are lots of people offering support through Tumblr and email on AAB’s #support tag, and there is a collection of stories under AAB’s “Abortion Stories” page. Best, best wishes to you.