1.
I want so badly to talk about this picture.
I do.
But when your first thought about it is “support women”, I can’t.
I can feel the words inching away from the raw wounds that even if they scar will always hurt.
Does that seem right to you?
2.
I actively flinch from the word feminist. Because of a long list of reasons.
But the one I really want to talk about right now is the fact that they don’t think about my reproductive justice.
They don’t think about the reproductive justice that means that I and other people who could need birth control who aren’t women deserve to be included.
They don’t think about the reproductive justice that means that they need to support trans people’s rights not to have to be sterilized to get the basic right of being recognized as that person’s true gender/s,
They don’t think about the reproductive justice that means that they need to actively stop sterilization of trans people, of PoC, of disabled people.
They don’t think about the reproductive justice that means the right to accessible, free birth control for everyone.
Their reproductive justice is condoms, abortions, and birth control pills.
Does that seem right to you?
3.
My mother lovingly referred to all of her fetuses as parasites when she was pregnant with each of us. Each of us was unplanned. Each of us was loved.
Why doesn’t anyone ever talk about their mothers being people?
Does that seem right to you?
4.
What the fuck am I supposed to do if I am raped and I get pregnant?
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
This is not a rhetorical question.
What the fuck am I supposed to do?
And I ask because the answer is I don’t know. I was never told.
Does that seem right to you?
5.
Only publishing one narrative of abortion says a lot less about those people’s stories and a lot about the publisher.
The vast majority of abortion narratives are about how abortion is a necessary evil, and very few are about anything else.
Does that seem right to you?
6.
I want to talk about this picture, but for now, let’s talk about the fact that someone took a gender-neutral picture with a powerful message and simplified it down to “support birth control and women’s rights”.
Why does this person not think that we—we people who are still using coat hangers and drinking paint thinner—don’t deserve to say “Never Again”?
Does that seem right to you?
7.
I want to talk about how a very common topic of discussion between disabled people is whether or not our parents would have aborted us if they had had early detection of our disabilities.
I know my mother would not have.
But why the fuck did I have to even ask?
Why the fuck did I even have to wonder?
Does that seem right to you?
8.
If you only ever talk about one form of justice, your justice is unjust.
And yet, that’s just supposed to suffice?
Does that seem right to you?
9.
I want everyone to have reproductive justice.
If you never consider us to be people, then you don’t think about what justice we deserve.
Most people never mention what kind of reproductive justice we deserve.
Does that seem right to you?
10.
I want my uterus out.
I want to not have ovaries.
I genuinely hope that I turn out to have a gene for estrogen-based cancers that runs on both sides of my blood, so I can have an early hysterectomy.
I genuinely hope that I have a higher chance of having my body grow fucking tumors—something that terrifies me on a visceral level because this has happened to both my grandmothers and my mother and I still have screaming, crying nightmares— because it’s probably the quickest way to get relief for the pain of having a cosmically wrong body.
Does that seem right to you?
11.
People call themselves “pro-choice” and then act as if it’s a dichotomous choice.
To abort or not abort, that is the question.
Does that seem right to you?
12.
I have to be afraid of being raped.
I have to be afraid of needing abortion.
But I also have to be afraid of people using that to mean that I know what women go through.
(I don’t. If you want to know what women go through, ask a woman. Ask especially the kind of woman that’s not often considered to be a ‘real’ woman.)
I have to be afraid of never being able to say “I was raped and I needed an abortion too” because then I won’t be a person anymore.
Does that seem right to you?
13.
I can’t stand menstruating. I can’t. It’s one of the few ways that I’m transnormative—a cafab trans person hating menstruation is very transnormative.
It’s worse than just the physical pain, the violent dysphoria, the disorienting sensation that comes from dissociating because I need to be numb sometimes. It’s worse because I remember that no matter what, I need to be afraid.
Does that seem right to you?
14.
One of the very first things someone said when I—self-deluding—told them I was a lesbian was “Oh, but you can use IVF and sperm donors!”
Because having a womb meant, to this person, that I should use it.
(I have fang teeth as well. Does that mean I should have used them to rip open her throat?)
Does that seem right to you?
15.
If you’re a cis woman, I want you to read this, now.
If you’re a cis feminist, I want you to read it twice.
If you’re a cis feminist who thinks they understand how trans people deserve reproductive justice, I want you to read it three times.
I want you to know that this person, one of your own, would rather I drink paint thinner and potentially die than get an abortion.
Does that seem right to you?
16.
“Never Again” is starting to look more and more like “Never Again For Us”.
Does that seem right to you?
17.
One of the reasons that I do not reblog posts on things like suicide and crisis hotlines is because cis people make these lists and cis people reblog them and I cannot trust that you checked this out properly.
I cannot trust that you ensured the safety of me and mine.
I cannot trust you, because too many times has something been advertised as being for me and mine as well and turned out to want us dead.
Does that seem right to you?
18.
When you call pro-fetus attitudes only misogynistic instead of being cruel, ableist, racist, classist, cissexist, violent, entitled, invasive, I wonder if you know what paint thinner tastes like.
When you pretend that pro-fetus people only hate cis white abled rich women, you say that you’re fine with a bloody coathanger and a half-empty bucket of paint thinner so long as it’s not in your sight.
Does that seem right to you?
19.
If I ever need to, I might just go to Planned Parenthood, clutching my mother and sister’s hands, crying.
I’ll cry when they misgender me.
I’ll cry until the dissociation overtakes the dysphoria and all I know is the ceiling.
And you will all call my tears collateral damage.
Does that seem right to you?
20.
The flip side of the feminism that won’t mention me needing justice is the feminism that says that all women need abortions.
The flip side of the feminism that would call my abortion a women’s experience and side with a rapist is the feminism that doesn’t care about trans women being raped—because, supposedly, trans women don’t need any reproductive justice.
Feminism hates women like nothing else, sometimes.
Does that seem right to you?
21.
This response is personal.
The political is personal.
This person and this person want me to drink paint thinner for the crime of not wanting a parasite.
Does that seem right to you?
22.
So, no, I’m not going to talk about that picture.
It might have been powerful until you destroyed it.
Never again?
We might never get to say “never again”.
Does that seem right to you?