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Pro-Choice and Pro-Voice

Posts tagged stories

Jun 7 '14
Jun 7 '14

My Abortion Experience

One woman talks about her first-trimester abortion.

Jun 7 '14
"I have told my abortion story from the pulpit. For weeks after that worship service, I was getting lots of phone calls from women in the congregation who also wanted to share their stories of abortion, or their stories of how they were prevented from having an abortion and forced to put a baby up for adoption and mourning that loss, or stories of being forced to have a baby at an early age and how that changed everything."
Melanie, 61, Louisiana, Unitarian Universalist Minister: I’m a Mother, and I Had an Abortion
Jun 7 '14

June 7: Abort Stigma!

If anyone wants to join AbortStigma, but doesn’t know where to start, I have a huge list of abortion experiences!

Jun 4 '14

twentysevenlions:

I’ve been home resting after my abortion this morning. If you’re curious, I wrote about my experience after the jump —>

Read More

Thank you for writing this!

Jun 2 '14
"When mothers are thinking about terminating a pregnancy, it is often out of love and consideration of how your family is functioning at the moment, and trying to figure out, “Can I financially afford this baby? Can I emotionally afford another child and all the things it might bring up in my current relationship? Is it fair to the children I currently have if I’m not able to provide all the things that I would like to for them - the basics, like childcare?”"
May 30 '14

juliaschild asked:

how did you start the process of adoption? Like when the first thought crossed your mind, how did you even start looking into it? Were there any websites that were helpful, or did you hear something more through word of mouth?

d3prav3d:

I hope that you don’t mind me answering this publicly but I’ve gotten this question a few times so I figured it’d be a good way to get this part of the story out there.

So I planned on parenting as soon as I found out I was pregnant, I definitely wasn’t going to get an abortion and I pretty much refused to think about adoption, which makes sense, no one wants to think about “giving away” their baby and I had a lot of misconceptions about adoption, which I think a lot of teenage girls experiencing unplanned pregnancy do as well. At this point I wasn’t talking to the birth father because we disagreed on where to go from that point… Around 22ish weeks we started talking again and at this point I was more open to thinking about other options. Mostly because the more I love her, the more guilt I felt about the life that I knew we would be facing if I kept her, one of a lot of struggle. This was when I started researching adoption. Now, I have to warn anyone who is looking into adoption that the internet is not exactly the best place to research adoption. There are mostly horror stories and a slew of blogs of very bitter and heartbroken birth moms who regret or still haven’t come to accept their adoption. Many horror stories of open adoptions turned closed and adoptee’s who were forever scared by their legacy of adoption. This DOESN’T have to be your story! You make your own story, and this is what I have realized. That you can read a million and one adoption stories but these do not have to be true for you. There are just as many positive stories as good stories, it’s just that most of the time the people who feel the need to keep these blogs about how terrible there adoption has been are just not in a good place, and not enough people with success stories feel the need to write about it. So, moral of what I learned was that the internet isn’t the best place to research about adoption but it is a good way to get both sides of the story. I did research constantly for a long time, including statistics on teen parenting and adoption, which you sort of have to take with a grain of salt anyway. 

I found my adoption agency through a fellow tumblr member who was planning an adoption for her child as well. This was the Independent Adoption Center. They were awesome the entire time! At about 23 weeks pregnant I had them mail me the packet full of perspective families that you can look through and contact. Only one family stuck out to us, and although the suggest you pick out your top five favorite, we only chose them, and low and behold they are our awesome adoptive family now :) The birth father and I talked through the pros and cons a million times, and this was a rocky road, it was not easy, and I suggest to any one looking into adoption for their child NOT to rely on the birth father through it all. They will not understand it, in fact no one really will, and you can’t take what people say to you very seriously. You have to understand that they can’t really understand, unless they are a birth parent themselves, and even then they could have had a completely different experience. When I was 24 weeks pregnant we finally composed and email to them, we also emailed with a few other families but it soon became apparent to us that this family was our family. We felt the immediate connection and they were exactly what we wanted. I really felt a since of peace among all the chaos in the bond we created with them, and still continue to create. 

To anyone thinking about and open adoption I recommend reading amstel life’s blog on blogger.com and some of the other birth mom blogs she has linked to her profile. I also recommend reaching out to some birth mom’s. I emailed with several as I was making my decision and they were all incredibly supportive, helpful, and more than willing to share their stories. I also recommend finding the agency that it right for you. Find one that will care about YOU as the birth mother and not just getting your baby, because yes, that does happen. You need to be smart, do no let any one take advantage of you and if in your gut you feel like you are, then you are probably right. This is your party, and you call the shots. Also, when looking for an adoptive family use the same guidelines. Talk to several, and don’t feel guilty about getting their hopes up for nothing. It’s your right in an open adoption to pick the family you want your child to go to. And ultimately this is a fragile and intimate bond that has to be done right, I’ve been so incredibly luck. Also, do your research, be knowledgeable, make pro con lists until your heart is content, talk it out with someone, find support, and listen to your heart. Most importantly, listen to your heart!!!! 

May 28 '14
May 23 '14
May 22 '14
"People spend millions of dollars to make you feel bad," Taft explains. "And when you feel bad enough, you stay quiet…and then it looks like the only people who are speaking are the women who regret their abortions."
May 20 '14
May 16 '14
"And so many women think that after getting an abortion that they are not going to be able to have children anymore. Even though they think they’re giving up their body’s right and ability to have a child, they’re still willing to have an abortion because they know that they cannot have, carry and raise a child at that point in their life. And then as soon as they know the chance of infertility or this affecting future pregnancy are an under 1 percent chance — as soon as they have the right information — their eyes just brighten, they’re in complete disbelief, and they’re like, “Really?” It’s my favorite part of a counseling session, when I’m telling them real information."
May 16 '14
May 16 '14

seachangeprogram:

Emily and Renee both shared their abortion experiences over the last week. Sometimes, when people share their abortion stories in public, the loudest voices they hear in response are anti-abortion bullies calling them selfish, sluts, or murderers. We want Emily & Renee to know that they are loved, supported, and respected. And we want to send a message to anyone who wants to share their abortion story: we stand with you, no matter what the bullies say! 

Share these images to show your solidarity with Emily and Renee, and with all people who share their abortion stories. 

May 13 '14
I’m saying.

I’m saying.